Inside Looking Out
by SaintLetha
Summary: A ridiculous tale of accidental felonies, growing up, discovering your voice, and how to avoid monsters bent on killing you. Being fourteen is hard enough, but gets even more complicated when you're the mute, kid sister in the Winchester family. Sisfic - Set around the After School Special episode/1997


Disclaimer: This is fanfiction and intended to be read as such. All publicly recognized characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. No infringement intended. All original intellectual property is solely owned by its creator: the author. The character, Alex Winchester is an O/C of River Winter's and is being used with her permission.

* * *

Norfolk, Nebraska

October 31, 1997

There had been warning signs. I mean, there was the literal warning sign that promised " _TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT ON SIGHT"_ that my foot was precariously stepping on, and using for leverage to climb. There was the warning sign when – one leg already flopped over the chain-link fence – I heard the distant barking from an unseen guard dog. But the warning sign I should have listened to most of all was the voice in my head telling me this was probably a bad idea. All these warnings were completely unheeded as I attempted to make my way over the barbed wire at the top of the junkyard fence.

This could have been the result of being young and stupid, or not being mature enough to grasp my own mortality, but ultimately it came down to peer pressure.

"Hurry up!" Delaney loudly whispered at me. She was apparently a pro at breaking into the town's scrap-yard and was standing below me already in the promise land. I was slowing her down.

How rude of me.

I managed to toss my other scrawny leg over and hop down, the barb on the fence caught a bit of my jeans and I heard ripping. With the grace only bestowed upon fourteen-year-old girls I landed on my rear and then scrambled to appraise the damage to my pant leg in a panic. Here's the thing, I only had one pair of jeans that actually fit me. Since I'd started growing hips I couldn't fit into my brothers' pants anymore. And there was no way I was going to ask my dad to spring for another pair. What if he asked how I ruined these? _Oh, you know, participating in felony trespassing with a girl I'd just barely met at my new school. Nothing major_.

Thankfully the tear wasn't so bad. I could probably stitch it up with one of the motel's complimentary sewing kits.

"Wow, you're lucky." Delaney, the aforementioned newly acquired 'friend' told me. "If that had got your actual leg, it could have severed your artery and you'd bled out in seconds."

My brows furrowed. About that time I started to think that maybe making a friend wasn't really worth all this hassle.

"Come on. Move your butt." She motioned for me to follow.

I looked back at the fence I had just scaled like a drunken acrobat. I knew I should go back; it was the smart thing to do. It's what my older brother, Dean would have _told_ me to do. But, see, I hadn't had many friends before. Well, actually I'd had no friends. None. And I'm not exaggerating. Between my family moving around so often, and some other _personal_ reasons, I'd just never gotten a chance to have a one. So now, here was my chance, and I was about to blow it because I was a chicken.

In true Winchester fashion I got up, dusted myself off and let Delaney lead the way again.

She carved a path around husks of old cars, rusty scrap metal, and anything else you might find in a dump. Places like this weren't new to me. I'd spent a good portion of my life in and out of similar surroundings – Uncle Bobby even owned something like this. My brothers and I would spend our summer afternoons playing hide and seek in his yard, avoiding tetanus by some miracle. But Delaney had convinced me she knew the 'coolest' place. That she hung out there all the time and would I like to go? You can guess what happened after that.

We'd only gone down a few rows before we came upon two other girls. I recognized them from school. Tiffany from fourth period English and Monica who I didn't have any classes with, but noticed her in the hall because of the excessive amount of blue eyeshadow she wore. They were kneeling in front of a primer-grey Volkswagen Beetle. If I knew my cars well enough – and I did – I'd say the Bug was circa 1974. The front compartment the car was covered with a ratty old tarp.

"Who are you?" Monica asked me.

There was a moment of silence before Delaney spoke for me, "This is Alex Winchester. She's the new girl."

With as many times as I'd heard that phrase in my life it would probably be etched into my gravestone.

"You're the deaf girl, right?" asked Tiffany.

"No, you idiot." Delaney corrected, "She's just mute."

All three girls stared at me and I was overcome with the urge to hide myself in that grime-ridden refrigerator behind us. Yep, it was true. I couldn't speak. Couldn't even make a sound.

But what can I say? Nobody is perfect. The clown makeup on Monica was proof enough.

"Sorry, I'd just noticed your brother talking for you all the time. I thought… Nevermind." Tiffany was referring to Sam, my twin.

He did speak for me a lot when we were around other people, school especially. I was lucky to have him in the same grade as me; we always had the same classes together. Strangers couldn't understand my expressions like my family could.

So, it was kind of unprecedented that I should be without my womb-buddy. The chain of command set forth by dad a long time ago was: _Dean take care of Sammy, Sam stay with your sister, and Alex, you watch out for your brothers_. The excitement level should have been through the roof being off on my own, but at that moment, with these girls staring at me the were they were, I was feeling a bit naked.

"Are you sure we can trust her?" Monica asked Delaney.

Delaney laughed, "Who's she going to tell?"

"All right, just checking." Monica stood up and grabbed the tarp on the VW. "Have you seen _The Craft_?"

I'd heard of it; movie about angry, rich girls using witchcraft. I hadn't seen it though. What's the point of spending time watching that kind of fake stuff?

I shook my head, telling them 'no'.

"An innocent." Monica smirked. "Perfect."

I had to hide my smile. _Sister if you only knew._

She pulled down the dingy sheet to reveal a makeshift altar in the car's crawl space. "Pretty cool, huh?"

I approached it curiously. They had a framed picture of a fat, red devil with 'Demon of Greed' written below him in tattoo style scroll, a couple of quartz crystals, a kitchen knife wrapped in red ribbon, a few tea light candles (vanilla scented), and three short, black feathers. I picked one up and could tell it was most likely from a pigeon. These girls had tried so hard, it was almost _cute_.

"We worship Mammon." Delaney told me proudly. "And, well, we've watched the movie like a million times. We need a fourth. We want you to be the fourth."

My eyebrows knitted together. _Why_ , I mouthed.

Delaney explained, "I've been watching you since you started our school a couple of weeks ago. You're… different. Like, how you dress in all those satanic t-shirts." She pointed to my shirt. I looked down out my own chest perplexed. Since when was Iron Maiden 'satanic'? Besides, it wasn't even my shirt. Almost all of my clothes were hand-me-downs from Dean.

"And plus," she went on. "You can't talk. That makes you more susceptible because you're broken."

My mouth dropped open. The word "broken" seemed to echo throughout the scrapyard. Had she really just called me _broken_? Friend or no friend, this chick and her flunky, wannabe, occultists were just… just… bitches!

Pissed, I gave her the finger and started marching off to find a way out.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Delaney called chasing after me. I could hear the other two girls laughing at me. "Wait." she grabbed my shoulder and spun me around. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

I pinched my lips together. What was _wrong_ we me? I wanted to tell her _nothing_ was wrong with me. Tell her I wasn't _broken_. I was just fine, thank you very friggin' much. But of course I couldn't _say_ any of that.

"I took a chance bringing you here. Now the other girls are laughing at me." She shook her head in disdain. "I guess I was wrong about you, Winchester. You're not unique, you're just a _freak_."

 _Freak_? I saw red. Before I knew it I had pushed her and she went down hard.

"Hey!" yelled Tiffany. "What the hell -"

"Who's out there?" We heard a husky voice shout out. Turning we could see a man standing down a few yards away, his hand held the leash with a large dog attached to the other end.

"Run!" Tiffany called out and the girls scattered. I started to hustle back to the fence from whence I came.

"Stop right there!" The man demanded, and his dog started barking. "Stop!"

I didn't of course, sure that the dog was about to chase me down and devour me. I made it to the fence and started to climb, but this time I guess I was scared, and scared equaled clumsy for me. I lost my grip on the chainlink a couple of time, and had only made it up a couple of feet before I felt the man's hand grab the back of my shirt and pull me down.

Crap!

I squirmed to get out from his grasp, but to no avail.

"Hold still missy." He sternly suggested. I looked around. The other girls were long gone. I had been the only dumb-ass to get caught. I decided it was futile and stopped my thrashing.

Well, shit.

* * *

The sun was setting. Amber rays of light were coming through slats in the blinds of the Sheriff's office casting bars across me. I was sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair next to the Deputy's desk. My head was down letting my long hair hide my face.

I didn't have the courage to look up and face my dad who was politely speaking to Deputy Tanner a couple of feet away from me.

"We don't think she had anything to do with the occult items found at the scene. Most likely they belonged to the other girls she was spotted with. Get all sorts of trouble makers on Halloween." the Deputy motioned to a box on his desk that held pieces of Delaney's crappy altar. "She was however trespassing. She wouldn't tell us her name, only gave us a note card that had your number on it."

"Alex is special." My dad told Tanner. His voice kind, but I could already imagine the storm brewing under his calm facade. "She can't speak, but she's a smart girl. She knows better than to trespass."

"I reckon she does." The deputy and my father walked over to me. I continued to stare at my Chuck Taylors as if my sneakers were the most interesting thing ever. "Now seeing as this is her first offense, and Patrick over at the junkyard isn't worried about pressing charges, I don't mind sending her off with a warning."

"We certainly appreciate that Deputy. I assure you, she'll won't be anymore trouble to you." Dad promised as he put his hand on my shoulder. I gulped. "Come on Ally." I begrudgingly took my father hand and he started to lead me out.

"You know," Tanner started to say, and we turned back to look at him. "I've got a couple of teenage girls myself. You're little one might be a tomboy now, but just wait until she discovers boys." He chuckled. "Daughters can be a handful. If it weren't for my misses I don't know how I would manage."

My father squeezed my hand. The Deputy unknowingly had hit a sore spot for us. Not the boy-craziness, that was just dumb, but the part about having a mother. "Thank you again, Deputy. You have a good evening."

We made our way out the glass doors of the building and dad paused to look me over. He noticed my jeans had a hole and were dirty but didn't mention it. Then, gently he hooked his finger under my chin and made me look up at him. I felt tears welling up in my eyes, but did my best not to let them out. "You were supposed to go straight back to the room after school. You know you have to always stick by Sam."

I nodded.

"You gotta understand, I need to keep you safe, and in order to do that I need you to follow the rules."

My father was a strict man. He was ex-Marines and didn't let us forget about that. Dean saw him as a superhero, Sam was definitely the more critical, and I had equal parts love and fear of the man, but I knew he always had my best interest at heart. And while I hadn't gone out with the intention of getting in trouble, I still messed up.

I moved my hand in a clockwise motion in front of my chest, and mouthed, ' _Sorry_ '.

"I know hun." He smiled down at me, lines crinkled around his eyes. "Let's get out of here."

At the curb was the family car, 1967 Impala. From the front seat my eldest brother, Dean whistled lowly. "Check out our little jailbird. Did they let you out early for good behavior?"

I brushed some hair behind my ear and squinted at him. _Not funny._

"That's enough, Dean. You're in as much trouble as she is." Dad pointed a finger at him and Dean's smile faded, then he ushered me into the back seat with Sam. "You too Sammy."

"What? What did I do?" Sam whined.

Dad got in behind the wheel, and started up the car. It's motor purring loudly. "You were supposed to be watching her."

"She's old enough to take care of herself." Sam protested, and I would have normally agreed, but after having to be picked up from a police station the first time I'd gone off on my own, maybe I wasn't so good at taking care of myself?

We drove in silence for a while. I was wrapped up in my embarrassment and shame. I thought about how those girls had laughed at me. The names they had called me. Had they seen me get carted away in the back of a police car? The more I thought about everything the heavier the humiliation weighed on my chest.

I sat in my puddle of self pity so long I didn't notice us pass up the motel we had been staying at.

"Dad, where we going?" Sam asked. I followed his gaze out the window and saw we were already on the interstate.

"We're headed to Indiana." he simply replied.

And just like that we were off to a new town.

* * *

Somewhere in between Wakefield and Emerson we stopped for gas. Dad was in the station getting us snacks while the boys and I sat in the car. I rested my head on the window, pouting and looking at the sky. The sun already drifted below the horizon leaving everything above the corn fields in shades of pink and blue, all except for a funny looking black cloud.

"Don't sweat it Ally-baby." Dean was telling me. "You got off easy. The last time I got busted by the cops dad left me there. Ended up spending a few weeks in an all boys home. You're lucky."

Maybe so, but I didn't feel so lucky. I mean, dad was always harder on Dean, but he was the oldest and had the most freedom. He always managed to have friends - well, girlfriends at least - no matter where we ended up. He got to go out, and stay out doing... heaven only knows.

I sat up straight. The funny looking black cloud appeared to be changing shape and moving a lot quicker than it should have. I stared at it for a moment wondering if I was seeing things. When I was sure it wasn't my imagination I started to tap repeatedly on the window with my pointer finger.

The noise got my brothers' attention.

"What is it?" Sam asked moving closer to me to get a look.

Dean saw it right away. "That's a fast moving cloud."

We watched it come closer. The darkness changing shape, almost convulsing.

"Thats not a cloud." Sam nearly hollered. Before we could asked him what it was the black mass was on us. The windows went dark, the car was covered by them. Twitching legs and fluttering, elongated wings were everywhere. The sound of thousands chirping locust became almost overwhelming.

"The hell is going on?" Dean shouted.

A few of the insects started coming through the vents and Dean was quick to smash them with his hands.

"Close the vents!" Sam was already hopping over the front seat to help close off the air conditioner vents before more of them could sneak in.

I, on the other hand, was being less useful. I had my hands over my ears trying to block out the noise. There was so many, and so condensed. Their little bodies were being crushed against the Impala, the crunching was almost louder than the singing, and I wondered at that moment how many it would take to break through the windshield and drown us.

I was having trouble breathing.

The whole thing may have lasted only a minute or more, but it felt like forever. As quickly as the swarm arrived they dissipated. Patches of light filled the interior of the car until the windows were clear again. The cloud flew away, shuddering and jerking off into the distance. There were still a few disembodied legs left behind, wiggling. Enough evidence to show that the whole freakish event actually happened.

"You alright back there?" Dean asked me as he wiped bug guts off his hands onto his jeans.

I hadn't noticed I still had my hands over my ears.

Suddenly the driver's side door flew open and there was dad. He looked panicked.

"Dad!" Sam hugged him. "Are you okay? That was insane!"

"I'm fine, Sammy." I hopped to the front seat next to my brothers, and took my turn hugging my dad. I was still shaking. "I was in the store when it hit. It's over now."

"Yeah, but what was that? Is that kind of thing normal?" Dean asked.

"I'm not sure, son, but I'm going to find out."

* * *

Thank you for reading. The story (as of yet) has no beta so mistakes are unfortunately inevitable. Please feel free to comment, your opinion is appreciated.


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